Online Relationship & Attachment Therapist for Adults
Why does this keep happening?
Different partners, different friendships, different jobs, and somehow the same story: you give more than you get. You feel anxious when someone pulls away, or you're the one who pulls away when things get close. You can't quite trust, or you trust too fast.
I'm Ruth Alcantara-Zboinski, LCSW-QS. I help adults understand where these patterns come from and build steadier, more secure relationships.
Attachment: The Blueprint You Didn't Choose
Long before we could talk, our earliest relationships taught us what to expect from people. Those lessons became a blueprint, and as adults we build from it automatically. Signs your blueprint may be working against you:
Anxiety in relationships: needing reassurance, fearing abandonment, overanalyzing every text and tone
Distance as safety: keeping people at arm's length, feeling suffocated by closeness, being "fine alone" to a fault
People-pleasing and losing yourself in whatever your partner, family, or boss needs
Difficulty trusting, or trusting the wrong people quickly
Attraction to emotionally unavailable people, and boredom with available ones
Repeating dynamics from your family of origin, no matter how hard you swore you wouldn't
How This Work Changes Things
This is individual therapy focused on your relational world: you don't need a partner in the room to do it. Depending on your story, we may draw on:
Attachment-based therapy to map your blueprint and build earned security: a steadier way of connecting that you were never given but can absolutely develop
EMDR when specific relational wounds, such as betrayal, abandonment, or a painful breakup or divorce, are still driving the pattern
CBT to challenge the old beliefs underneath it all: "I'm too much," "I'll be left," "love has to be earned"
What to Expect When We Work Together
A free 15-minute consultation. We talk about the patterns you're seeing and whether this work fits what you're looking for.
Mapping the blueprint. Early sessions trace your relational history to see clearly how your expectations of closeness, trust, and conflict were formed.
Working the pattern where it lives. We use attachment work, EMDR, and CBT to update the blueprint at its roots.
Watching the pattern lose its grip. Progress here is visible in daily life: the text that doesn't spiral you, the boundary that holds.
Relationship & Attachment Therapy at a Glance
Therapist: Ruth Alcantara-Zboinski, LCSW-QS, more than 10 years of clinical experience
Approaches: attachment-based therapy, EMDR, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
Who it helps: adults who keep repeating painful relationship patterns, with or without a partner
Format: individual, secure online sessions in New York, Connecticut, and Florida
Hours: 7am to 6pm Eastern, with early morning, lunchtime, and limited evening sessions
Fees: $205 per 50-minute session, with a free 15-minute consultation
Relationship Patterns I Help With
Anxious attachment: needing reassurance, fearing abandonment, or feeling on edge when someone pulls away.
Avoidant attachment: shutting down, keeping distance, or feeling trapped when things get close.
People-pleasing and codependency: losing yourself in what others need.
Trust and betrayal: rebuilding trust in yourself and others after being hurt.
Breakups and divorce: healing after a relationship ends so the next one can be different.
Family of origin patterns: noticing old family dynamics showing up in your adult relationships.
Online Relationship Therapy in New York, Connecticut & Florida
I provide individual relationship and attachment therapy through secure telehealth to adults anywhere in New York, Connecticut, and Florida. Sessions are 50 minutes for $205, with a free 15-minute consultation. See my Fees page for insurance and payment details.
Relationship & Attachment Therapy FAQs
Do I need to bring my partner?
No. This is individual therapy. Many of the patterns that show up in relationships can be changed by working on your side of them, whether you're single, dating, married, or recently separated.
What is attachment style?
Attachment style is the way you learned to connect with others, based on your earliest relationships. It shapes how you handle closeness, conflict, and trust as an adult.
Can my attachment style change?
Yes. With the right support, people can develop what is called earned security: a steadier, more confident way of relating that grows over time.
How long does relationship and attachment therapy take?
It depends on your history and goals. Many clients notice shifts within a few months, while patterns rooted in childhood can take longer. We review progress together regularly.
Does online therapy work for relationship issues?
Yes. Telehealth works well for this kind of therapy, and many clients find it easier to open up from the comfort of their own space.
Relationship patterns are often connected to past experiences and to anxiety. Learn more about trauma therapy and anxiety therapy.
Have more questions? See my full FAQ page or learn more about my background.
Written by Ruth Alcantara-Zboinski, LCSW-QS. Last updated October 2026.
Ready to Break the Pattern?
You don't have to keep repeating the same story. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if relationship and attachment therapy is right for you.